


Wolfsbane 101

by Llaeyro



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Barely Legal, Blow Jobs, Community: rs_small_gifts, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Implied Animagus/Wolf "Flirting", Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Wolfsbane Made Them Do It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-27 11:43:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6283201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llaeyro/pseuds/Llaeyro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus has long since decided to ignore his completely inappropriate feelings. Apparently, this new potion has other ideas...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wolfsbane 101

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rhye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhye/gifts).



> Thanks to Nazgirl for the beta. This was a pinch-hit rs_small_gifts for Rhye, 2015.
> 
> [Read on LJ](http://rs-small-gifts.livejournal.com/214046.html).

As Remus woke and the memories from the night before flooded to the forefront of his mind, he wished the earth would open up and swallow him. The fact that his friends knew full well he couldn’t control his actions once he transformed was neither here nor there. The truth was, the wolf had revealed the only secret Remus still kept from the Marauders.

How could he go back to the dorms and face them? He’d tried to—to _dominate_ Sirius, for Merlin’s sake. Just the thought filled him with shame and he felt heat rising to his face. He peered nervously through the gaps in the screen around his bed and listened; no one seemed to be around. He tried to sit up but a sharp pain in his ribs stopped him. He gingerly peeled back the dressing and saw, not the usual scratch of the wolf’s claws, but something deeper, like a shallow stab wound. He frowned as he covered it again and sank back under the covers, trying to remember the details but also not sure if he wanted to.

Prongs. He’d been trying to get Moony off of Padfoot; he must’ve caught him with his antler. He can’t imagine what they must have thought. It occurred to Remus that they possibly had just thought it was an attack. They’d been expecting a power struggle the first time, hadn’t they? All their research in the library suggested it was likely that the wolf would try to ascertain a hierarchy, all that alpha, beta, whatever rubbish. Maybe they hadn’t realised Moony was trying to claim him?

Remus could only hope. He blamed himself for not expecting it really. He’d recognised his feelings for Sirius some time ago now, but you don’t just go around admitting that sort of thing. It’s unnatural. Sirius was unlikely to feel the same and even if he was, you know, inclined _that way_ … Well, he could certainly do better than a poor, tatty, half-emaciated werewolf. He deserved more than that—more than Remus could give.

~*~*~*~*

 

Remus could still remember the immense relief when he realised the Marauders had just presumed it was aggression on the wolf’s part, even if he was a little surprised at their naivety. They let a cycle go by without mentioning trying again, but then they had gotten more insistent. Remus was running out of excuses and clung to his last defence. The wolf had targeted Sirius specifically— _no, James, I have no idea why_ —so Remus didn’t want to put him at risk. After much effort, James convinced Sirius to sit this one out and Remus was left with no choice.

It was uneventful, but in a good way. He had felt tense at first; he remembered sensing it in Peter and James too, their fear sour in his nostrils. Then, they just laid down near the door. After a while of pacing, the wolf had settled down too on the other side of the room. He remembers feeling comforted, happy that they were there; maybe there was just a little bit of Remus still present in the wolf after all.

~*~*~*~*

 

In hindsight, he shouldn’t have gone straight back to the dorm. He should have taken a walk to think things out for himself first, but his mind was too busy with the news and his legs took him back to the tower on auto-pilot. His mistake only hit him when he heard the thunderous steps following him up to their room. Remus just sat down on the edge of his bed, staring at the wall as Sirius, James and Peter all rushed to speak the second they squeezed through the door.

“Well?”

“What’s wrong?”

“What did he want?”

Remus opened his mouth with every intention of speaking, but just ended up doing what he assumed was a passable impression of a fish as he searched for where to start. Sirius sensed his struggle and inclined his head towards the door. James and Peter left them to it, albeit reluctantly. Sirius closed the door and flicked his wand at it before sitting on the bed next to Remus. Despite having a whole bed at their disposal, Sirius sat characteristically close, their thighs actually touching. It didn’t bother him anymore—Remus was far too used to Sirius’s lack of personal space etiquette—he actually found it rather comforting. He shook the urge to lean into it, to rest his head on Sirius’s shoulder.

“There’s this new potion…” Remus began hesitantly, keeping his gaze on his trunk pushed against the wall. “Well, they’re not totally finished testing it yet, so they’re not absolutely sure about the side effects or even the extent of the positive effects…” He wasn’t sure how much sense he was making, he felt like he was babbling.

“What do they hope it will do?”

Remus smiled at Sirius’s gentle guidance. “They’re trying to make something to help with—with transformations. They think it might help people be more in control, but they need to do more tests to see how it affects different people.”

“And they want to test it on you?”

Remus glanced at Sirius, trying to decipher his expression as he too stared at the chest, but came up with nothing. He nodded slowly. “Dumbledore thinks it’s a good idea.”

“What about your parents?”

“Dumbledore said he spoke to them about it and they said they’re not in a position to make that decision for me. I’m the one that has to go through it, so it’s up to me.”

Sirius seemed to let that settle in for a moment, nodding slightly. After a while, he turned to Remus. “What do you think?”

“I’m not sure. Some of the ingredients are pretty dangerous and you have to take it every day for a week before the full moon. Sometimes it affects people in that week too.”

“Affects them how?”

Remus shrugged. Professor Dumbledore had been rather vague on those sort of details. He wasn’t convinced that it hadn’t been entirely on purpose. “It’s different for different people. That’s why they’re still testing it, I guess. The potion’s free while they test it, and they said I’ll get a discount on it when it’s finished, for helping. If, if it works…”

Sirius smiled softly and placed a reassuring hand on Remus’s shoulder. “There’s always a chance. Whatever you need Moony, I’ll be right here. No matter what.”

~*~*~*~*

 

The Wolfsbane potion was absolutely vile. The benefits were going to have to be pretty bloody good to make it worth drinking that shit for seven nights every month. He’d barely managed not to throw up the first night and the dread of it made it almost worst on the second night. The third day was a Sunday, and Remus point-blank refused to get out of bed. It had started yesterday really, but he’d been able to distract himself and get on with things regardless. Today, however, there was no ignoring it. Remus had a great big stiffy.

He’d tried a cold shower once everyone else had gone down to breakfast. He’d tried reading. As a last resort, he had snuck one of James’s dirty magazines, but even forcing himself to stare at bare-breasted witches didn’t deflate his hard-on as it usually would have. He supposed there was only one thing for it.

Remus felt a shiver of relief run up his spine as he laid on his bed and finally wrapped his hand around his cock. He felt the tension melt from his shoulders as he started stroking himself, but the respite was all too brief.

Remus hurried to tuck himself back into his pyjama pants and bundle the duvet up in his lap before he heard the door swing shut and his curtains were yanked open without warning. Sirius looked down at him with a smile, but Remus could see the concern in his eyes.

“Y’alright?”

Remus could barely hear him over his heartbeat hammering in his ears—Sirius’s presence wasn’t doing anything to abate his erection.

“What’s that?” Remus deflected, noticing the box Sirius was holding.

“Happy birthday.” Sirius shoved the box under Remus’s nose.

“That was a week ago. And you gave me a present,” Remus smiled.

“It’s breakfast,” he amended as he climbed onto the bed without invitation. He crawled up to lean against the headboard and handed Remus a pastry from the box.

Remus scoffed the pastry down greedily, pulling more of the duvet up to puddle in his lap as he scooted over to make room.

“Are you cold?” Sirius knitted his brow in concern, shifting his bottom as he pulled the covers out from under himself and shoved them over Remus. Remus opened his mouth to insist he was fine, but Sirius’s hand glanced across his thigh and a pleasant shiver ran through him.

Sirius shoved the box through the curtain onto the bedside table. “Come here,” Sirius insisted as he grabbed Remus around the shoulders and pulled him close, shifting down the bed to lay, dragging Remus with him.

Remus knew he should be protesting but his brain didn’t want to co-operate. Sirius’s body was hot against him. Remus could feel the soft skin of Sirius’s neck brushing lightly across his lips as Sirius enveloped him. There was something intoxicating about the way he smelt. It was so acute that Remus was at a loss as to why he hadn’t noticed it before. He tried to subtly keep his hips angled away but it was no use. Sirius was still wriggling closer, wrapping himself around Remus and _oh Gods_ , there was little chance of Sirius not noticing Remus’s erection now that it was pressing into his thigh. Remus shut his eyes tight, all his concentration set on the task of not humping Sirius’s leg.

“Uh, Moony…”

“It’s the potion,” he blurted out before Sirius could continue. He could feel his muscles starting to quiver with the effort of staying still. Sirius was quiet for a moment, but he didn’t try and move away.

“I meant what I said before.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “Whatever you need...” Remus’s breathing quickened, his pulse and mind racing to work out what Sirius meant by that because surely he didn’t mean, couldn't mean… could he? But then, Sirius shifted his hips and Remus felt a hard bulge nudging his own thigh and the uncertainty of Sirius’s words evaporated. In the back of his mind, Remus could hear himself screaming that this was wrong, no matter if Sirius wanted it too but it was all but drowned out by raw and desperate need. His resolve snapped, rolling on top of Sirius, whose yelp of surprise soon turned to a groan when Remus ground their hips together. His face was still buried in Sirius’s neck, taking in the scent of him as he rubbed his pyjama clad cock over Sirius’s. He couldn’t work out where to put his knees, or his feet, the angle wasn’t quite right, but the friction was there and Sirius was arching up into him and making the most delicious noises. When strong hands started kneading at his arse, Remus came undone. As his hips jerked weakly through his orgasm, he was only vaguely aware of Sirius’s long groan and fingernails digging into his backside.

Remus rolled straight off, bringing his hands up to cover his face. Now that the haze of need had left him, he was mortified. He barely registered the tingle of a cleaning charm sweep over him.

“Well,” Sirius huffed, sounding tired but cheerful, “That was fun.” Remus moved his hands away to look at Sirius’s grinning face in disbelief.

“Fun?” Remus’s voice was unsteady. “Wrong. Unnatural. Sinful. A breach of trust. An overstepping of boundaries. A generally bad idea.” He couldn’t bring himself to look at Sirius, but when Sirius spoke again his voice had lost all its joy.

“But it’s the potion, right? You can’t help it. And if it helps you keep your head when you change, then maybe the ends justify the means?”

“I need to be alone for a while.” He rolled onto his side, facing away from Sirius, and curled up. He heard Sirius give a small sigh, but he left without another word.

~*~*~*~*

 

Remus had been so distracted by his hormones that he didn’t notice the other slow changes until the next day, when they were more pronounced. When he woke, he was solely fixated on the need to find food—he’d even started sniffing around the dorm until he realised what he was doing and headed down for breakfast. As it was so early, he waited in the Entrance Hall, looking out over the grounds. At first, he couldn’t quite work out what was different, then he spotted the tulips. Every year, the tulips flowered early and were charmed to display each house's colours in rows; Remus could see two rows of dull orange, one of dull yellow, and one row of grey-ish blue. He started to understand how the potion worked. He had been increasingly needs-driven, his colour perception was dulling, his sense of smell heightening; it all pointed to one thing. In the week of taking Wolfsbane, it gradually bridged the gap between man and wolf. To be more Remus on the full moon, he had to be more wolf for a week. He felt bile rise in his throat at the realisation, wondering at what stage the transition would stop. Terrified by the potential consequences.

Once his hunger was sated, Remus’s arousal returned with a vengeance. He intentionally took the long route back to Gryffindor tower and was relieved to find that he’d missed his friends on their way down to the Hall. Remus had initially refused the headmaster’s offer to take the week off lessons while he trialled the potion, but he was now grateful that Professor Dumbledore had insisted. He felt ridiculous though, missing lessons because he couldn’t control his urges. He changed into his pyjamas for comfort, but really he couldn’t see the point in delaying the inevitable. As much as he regretted the incident with Sirius, his desires had subsided after the fact. If he indulged himself, maybe he could function normally for the rest of the day. Maybe he could even attend lessons.

Remus threw a quick locking charm at the door, drew the curtains around his bed and pulled the elastic down on the front of his trousers, revealing his straining cock. He started stroking himself slowly, pointedly _not_ thinking about Sirius. Soon he sped up, but the moment Remus let his eyes drift closed, Sirius’s latent scent lingering on his pillow took him by surprise. Again and again, Remus found himself wrenched away from the brink of orgasm by unwelcome memories and, more worryingly, fantasies involving one of his best friends.

Eventually, he gave in to the images in his mind—coming quietly with panting breaths as he recalled the feel of Sirius’s erection against his hip and imagined Sirius’s wandering hands all over him.

Remus felt better, if rather guilt-ridden. He cleaned himself up, got dressed and made it halfway to the Astronomy Tower when it started again. At first, it was an uncomfortable knot in his stomach as he thought about walking in and sitting with his friends, knowing what he had just done while fantasising about Sirius. However, the knot turned to a needy heat which travelled lower as he lingered over those fantasies. Frustrated almost to the point of tears, he headed back to his dorm.

After what could have been agonising hours or merely minutes for Remus, the heady scent which filled the room left no doubt as to who had entered. When Sirius spelled the door and climbed topless into bed next to him, Remus was in no state to refuse him. He closed his eyes and hid his face again in the crook of Sirius’s neck as they rubbed against each other as they lay side by side. After a while, Remus still didn’t feel close but the friction of their clothes was starting to be uncomfortable.

He stilled his hips, huffing against Sirius’s shoulder. “It’s not enough,” he whined, exasperated. He was seriously considering giving up the potion. Sirius whispered something then, and his hand slipping into Remus’s pyjama bottoms snapped him out of his thoughts. His hand was slippery with lube as it gently pulled Remus’s cock out. Sirius wriggled his hips and _sweet Merlin_ , he held his bare cock against Remus’s and stroked them together. The angle was awkward and Sirius couldn’t seem to find a rhythm, but it was slick and hot and it felt so much better than frotting through their clothes. Remus came quickly, his release having been held off for so long, recovering in time to watch Sirius’s face contort in pleasure. He liked that he had been the cause of it, but quickly pushed that thought away.

Remus bonelessly let his head roll back against the pillow, eyes closed. He opened his eyes when he felt hot breath on his face, and Sirius was _right there_. Sirius leant in, pressing their lips together. It was an awkward, motionless kiss, but when he pulled away Sirius smiled anyway.

“You said you think it’s wrong, but can you really say that _felt_ wrong?” Determined grey eyes were locked on his. Remus just blinked at him. With a sigh, Sirius left.

~*~*~*~*

 

On the fifth day, Sirius didn’t even go down to breakfast. As soon as Peter and James left, he climbed onto Remus’s bed naked. Remus sat up, pulling the covers up to his neck, despite still being dressed in his pyjamas.

“The sooner I help you out, the more of a day you get,” Sirius said with something between a smile and a grimace.

The little part of Remus’s brain that was still managing to think knew he was right. The rest had been taken over by his wolf senses; feeling the heat of Sirius’s body although they weren’t yet touching, smelling his arousal. Remus found himself nodding and let Sirius pull the covers away. He tried to move over but Sirius stopped him, straddling his lap instead and pulling Remus’s pyjama top over his head. As soon as the top was off, Sirius’s lips were on his and Remus gasped in surprise.

“Padfoot, what are you doing?” he asked breathily as Sirius kissed along his jaw and pulled Remus’s cock free.

“Helping,” Sirius muttered, kissing his way back to Remus’s mouth as his hand started a steady rhythm stroking his cock. Sirius's mouth paused its journey, his lips tantalisingly close, breathing heavily. Remus tried to think but his mind was overwhelmed. Sirius’s hand was working its magic up and down his cock while he rubbed his own bare erection against Remus’s pyjama clad thigh. Sirius’s lips hovered right in front of him. Remus closed the gap, moving his lips against Sirius’s. Sirius moaned, his grip on Remus’s cock tightening and his tongue glancing across Remus’s lower lip. It was clumsy and messy and left Remus wanting more.

Remus canted his hips up into Sirius’s hand as best he could while his thighs were trapped beneath Sirius’s wiggling backside. Sirius gave a small hum as he smiled into the kiss.

“Need more, Moony?” he whispered mischievously against Remus’s lips. When Remus leant forward to kiss him again, Sirius backed away, staying temptingly out of reach. Remus made a strange noise as he snaked his hand round the back of Sirius’s neck to pull him in, internally insisting that it was definitely _not_ a growl. Whatever it was, Sirius seemed to like it. He kissed back hungrily as Remus melted into him before slipping back down the bed.

His hand had stilled at the base of Remus’s cock and Sirius lowered his head, pausing, glancing between Remus’s eyes and his throbbing prick. Remus bit his lip nervously, but before he could formulate a protest, Sirius gently pushed back his foreskin and swiped his tongue across the head. Remus groaned involuntarily, head falling back; it felt amazing, he’d never experienced anything like it. He leant back, propped up on his elbows. Sirius gave a few more tentative licks before closing his lips around the head.

“Fuck…” Remus huffed out, heat rising to his cheeks when Sirius moaned in return; it wasn’t like him to swear. Sirius started moving his mouth up and down, just shallowly. Remus winced when teeth scraped against his sensitive skin, but Sirius soon made up for it when he enthusiastically sucked on the tip. The slurping and occasional small choking noises Sirius was making were obscene, but Remus couldn’t bring himself to care—it was the most intense pleasure he’d ever felt.

He opened his eyes, gasping at the sight Sirius made. His eyes were closed tight in concentration as he bobbed his head, swollen lips tight around Remus’s cock, long hair sticking to the saliva on his chin and hand working furiously between his own legs. Remus felt the wolf’s lust rising and it terrified him—what if he couldn’t stop? What if he did something Sirius didn’t want? What if he was too rough?

He moaned as Sirius swirled his tongue around the head of his cock before sliding his lips back down, causing Remus to lose his trail of thought. His fingers found purchase in Sirius’s hair as he lightly thrust up into his willing mouth. He tried not to thrust too hard, he tried not to pull on his hair, but now and then Sirius would make a choking noise as Remus’s cock hit the back of his throat, gasping for air around the hard length in his mouth. Remus was too far gone to be disgusted by the surge of lust brought forth by those desperate sounds. He came hard down Sirius’s throat, hands tight in his hair. Sirius spluttered, pulling off as soon as Remus’s hands fell limply to his sides, but continued to lick at him, cleaning him of his own come. Remus could hear Sirius working his own cock and soon felt him tense, moaning his own climax against Remus’s thigh.

Sirius cast a cleaning charm before crawling up the bed, pulling Remus against his chest. Remus was too spent to protest, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to anyway.

“Still feel wrong?”

“Yes,” Remus replied before slinging his arm across Sirius’s chest, snuggling closer, “But this doesn’t.”

Sirius chuckled, angling Remus’s head up with a gentle hand under his chin to kiss him lightly.

“We can’t do this tomorrow.”

“What?” Sirius sounded surprised, hurt. He leant back, trying to catch Remus’s eye. 

“It’s getting worse every day. What if I try to, _you know_.” He blushed furiously. “You have to stay away. Please.”

“No chance. I’m not missing out on more of this new, sexy, needy, swearing, Remus. If you do try to, _you know_... that’s, well, good. I—I want that.”

“But I don’t.” Sirius’s face fell. “No, I don’t mean—I mean, whenever I imagined things like this, it was always the other way around.”

Sirius slowly broke into a sly grin. “You mean you’ve imagined it? You’ve imagined me… Doing what, exactly?”

“Oh, sod off,” Remus grumbled, trying to avoid looking at Sirius, “You know what I mean…”

“I think I do,” he spoke softly, eyes sparkling mischievously, “So, tomorrow… yeah?”

Remus let out a shuddering breath as he gave a small nod. “I—I have no idea what I’m doing.” It was embarrassing to admit it, but he needed Sirius to know what he was getting himself into.

“Me neither, but we’ve done a pretty good job of figuring it out so far, haven’t we? Just a bit of trial and error, that’s all.”

“That’s all…” Remus muttered absently, the last of his doubt tapering away to nothingness as he finally gave himself up to Sirius.

 

_Fin_


End file.
